Holly ~ Paperback ~ Dixie James

Holly (A tribute to my daughter while on a journey growing and changing together) From the beginning, Holly had to "fight" to live. I feared my daughter would not survive because she not only was born with Down syndrome, she was born with heart disease. My tiny baby suffered with heart failure often and Kaiser Hospital became our second home until she had open heart surgery. I cried every day and yearned to stop hurting. Feelings of depression and helplessness consumed me. I needed to reclaim control. Holly's and my book is about discovery--by watching Holly overcome her struggles, and she had many, she made me feel I could overcome my sense of loss and sea of sadness. I needed a plan and a reason to celebrate happy moments to share with others. Change began to happen when I followed my compulsion to get out of my house and just walk. My mind became calmer and still from over- thinking what the future holds. My walking took me away from the pulsating fears that crept into me when I was holding my baby girl. Being alone and taking time to walk brought a piece of contentment, time to think and time to develop faith in myself. HOLLY takes the reader on a journey into the challenges a mother faces with the birth of a child with Down syndrome. The book begins with the question, "Do we want to have children?," and takes the reader to the following areas of Holly's and my life: getting pregnant, giving birth, driving to Sonoma State Hospital, bonding in strong love, going to cooperative nursery school, public and special education, attending sex education classes, leaving home, living in a group home, living independently, working five days a week, finding the love of one's life and getting 'married'. Throughout this journey, mother and daughter "raise" each other's personal pursuits beyond their expectations.